West Ham United Football Club – Latest Hammers News

Well it could have been worse! Allardyce opened his big gob pre match to announce that Tottenham are overly dependent on Bale, so that guaranteed the Welsh Ronaldo would score. And sure enough he did, courtesy of a strange intervention from Demel which sent the ball across his own box right to Bale’s feet. But, and I’m whispering this, thus far, Tottenham haven’t threatened that much, the goal apart – except for a superb save from Jussi to keep out a Caulker header. When we have the ball, we have stretched Spurs. The movement of Joe Cole and …

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Give Osborne control of the economy and the nation loses its triple A rating; let Allardyce run your club and austerity bites deeper and deeper when in comes to attacking intentions. Tonight’s team makes depressing reading. No Noble – is he injured? O’Neil plays ahead of Collison. Tomkins doesn’t even make the bench. Demel starts so Bale will be licking his lips! Where’s Vaz Te? Injured or jettisoned? The OS tells us nothing! Does this team inspire? Jussi   Demel, Collins, Reid, O’Brien   O’Neil   Diame, Nolan   Cole                                       Jarvis   Carroll   I would love to be proved wrong but it looks the wrong team to me. Is Paulista still at the club?

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When I warned a few weeks back that we still faced a battle to stay up, the optimists scoffed. We were sitting comfortably in mid table. Reading had started winning but wouldn’t keep it up. Villa were useless. QPR couldn’t hope to catch us. Wigan were doomed. Well it’s looking very different now. The gap is down to six points. Reading will end up with 36 points at least. Wigan have begun their annual Great escape…

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With news that Ricardo Gardner may be about to join the Bolton émigrés at Upton Park, 88 year old tea lady Doris Garnett was found in floods of tears yesterday morning after discovering that Allardyce is thinking of bringing in Nora Bates from Bolton as her replacement. Husband Reg, 93, a life long West Ham fan, told reporters: “Doris was inconsolable went she got home yesterday afternoon. She arrived at work to find a strange …

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Well he lasted 12 months longer than I predicted, but Di Canio has walked away from the Swindon job, exactly as I said he would do. There’s no denying that, based on results, he has done a fabulous job, but in terms of high maintenance, he is Joan Collins, Liza Minnelli and Jordan rolled into one. Talk about flouncing in and flouncing out again, in a little over 18 months, the Italian …

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So West Ham continue to underwrite Shafting United’s flounderings in the old Division Three! With the final stage payment of the Tevez compensation due this year, the Blunted Blades sit in fifth place in the table, adrift of the mighty Bournemouth, Doncaster, Tranmere and Swindon, and level on points with Brentford and Yeovil Town! All that money, and what good has it done them? …

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Allardyce is no doubt smiling at reports that Poyet might succeed him at Upton Park. Apart from the fact that the Uruguayan has achieved nothing as a manager to date, Doctor Evil might point to an aggregate score of 7-0 in head to head games between them last season. West Ham fans might not like Allardyce’s style of football, but his teams…

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Dear God, has this man got any balls? Apparently, we set up in the first half to see what Aston Villa had to offer, and once we established not much, only then did we go out to try to win the game! What a confession from Allardyce. You are playing against a team that ships goals like the Titanic shipped water after rubbing shoulders with that iceberg, and…

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The guy just can’t stop scoring! Ever since Chelsea indicated that they no longer wanted him, Lampard has scored goal after brilliant goal, and with his winner last night, he created just another little bit of history. Sadly Fat Frank, as he is unaffectionately known, will never receive the credit he deserves down West Ham way, but after Moore and…

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Eight grand, I ask you! Eight thousand for calling the ref a coward and coming as close as a manager dare of suggesting that the bastard in black was a cheat. I bet the guy, who pocketed a million pound bonus for securing promotion last season and stands to double that if we stay up, is destined for a sleepless night tonight. How will he ever pay a fine of  that magnitude? Some might even

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Another embarrassing stat for Noble’s critics. Not only does he complete more passes than any other West Ham player, not only does he complete more tackles than any other West ham player, not only does he average more miles per game than any other West Ham player, not only does he sit fourth in the Premiership table for average miles covered in a …

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Two games played and two goals scored. OK, it is only for the Academy team but so what? This guy has a record of scoring and his tail is up. Our away record is abysmal so previous formations and personnel have not worked. It’s time for something different. Allardyce has to abandon his negative mentality at Villa Park. Going forward, this Villa team is half decent, with Benteke and Ivebonkedawhore a more than lively pairing, …

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So poor old Paolo is upset because the administrator, on behalf of the new owners of Swindon Town, sold a player to Bournemouth without getting the OK from Il Duce first which is, according to the combustible Italian, in breach of his contract. This has echoes of Alan Turds Curbishley who walked out…

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Poor old Stephen Warnock. He claims he joined Leeds United because they are a bigger club than West Ham, but whilst we bullied Wales’ first team into submission, Warnock Junior’s new employers slumped to defeat against second string Welsh team, Cardiff City. Poor Warnock Junior must be scratching his head in bemusement. Whilst West Ham attracted a full house of over 34,000, despite a run of disappointing results…

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Bloody hell, we needed that. Swansea were unbeaten in seven and had beaten Chelsea over two legs without conceding anything more than a ball boy, so certainly were no soft touches, but anything less than a win today would have seen us knee deep in the relegation mire. Now, it barely touches our ankles thanks to Everton’s and Wigan’s late equalisers and…

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Look at the possession count and we are second best, look at the shot count and we are unlucky not to be winning. Nolan could have scored twice, forcing a good save on both occasions, and Vaz Te had a rasping shot from outside the box turned around the post, but …

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Hush now. Be very quiet. David Gold has been unwell and needs a nap. David Sullivan is having a kip too. And Big Sam and his squad were up early after that Arsenal tonking and so are having forty winks. Transfer window? Ease it gently shut, there’s a dear, don’t want anybody to get a chill or to hear the …

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For two games in a row I’ve listened to ex Hammer Tony Gale insisting that, as a centre back, he would rather face Chamakh or Carroll than Carlton Cole. That’s all very well Tony, but who would you rather face if you were a keeper or the back of a net? Actually, why would you be worried about facing any of them?

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