Tag Archive | "birds"

A yarn, a yawn or a ripping good tale?

Can you see it, feel it…sense the alarm coursing through your veins as you realise that you’ve been duped once more? The year is 2019, It’s February…David Moyes was sacked in December and replaced by Tony Pulis…The January transfer window opened and closed with few signings that would generate hope, and existing players have ground to a halt in the molasses of West Ham performances. How did we get here? Why are we entrenched in the…

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The Cyrus Murder Mystery and The Warriors

At a crowded rally of the disconnected and disenfranchised…a voice bellows overhead! From centre stage stands a unifying voice of Cyrus…the leader of the Gramercy Riffs, that would bring everyone together to sing as one, then a Bang and a Crack is heard as a shot is fired and all duck for cover. All hell breaks loose, all scatter as the severity and enormity of the situation dawns…then amidst the chaos, there are those perpetrators that would…

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Knick Knack Kerouac – Give A Dog A Bone

They say the job is not done, there is more to come, more to give but is this the case of just more to take? Whilst there could be protests and marches, finger waving and scornful shouts…is it enough to make the madness stop and for the masters to throw it all in and go…On The Road? “The only people for me are the mad ones: the ones who are mad to live…

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The Polish knew about all solidarity didn’t they?

In a bygone era, when an independent Polish trade union emerged from beneath an oppressive and suppressive communist regime, it then morphed into a political movement…led by Lech Walesa which ultimately led to quantum changes within the Polish political landscape. Some might think that the West Ham fans have been living under a similar footballing regime for too long and now it is time for a change. A change in the system, the manner and an ousting of those rulers …

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Darth Vader and the Lollipop Men

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…there are those who would look upon the West Ham universe with envious eyes. A Premier League standing, albeit with dubious foundation…a shiny happy people stadium and a bank balance that would make the greedy chuckle in delight. The owners have pulled off a masterstroke of apparent duplicity and subterfuge whilst the minions would rise up to challenge the masters of the dark side. “There is …

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Slaps, tickles…and all for squits and giggles

Wouldn’t it be nice for all the West Ham nation to come together in perfect harmony for a jolly old sing song. Yes. let’s pretend it’s 1999 and we’re all going to party like there’s no tomorrow because the Moyesiah has done his job, done us proud and kept the team in the Premier League. Shall we entertain such fanciful notions and should we continually strive to wish it was so? Many have come to the…

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Scorsese ‘Badda Bing’ or Redknapp Horse Trading?

Finally there might be light at the end of the darkest of West Ham tunnels…the club have announced there will be a new Director of Football in post to oversee all matters footballing, scouting and scooting. Yes, David Sullivan has decided to hang up his DoF role and take a step back to let others do the job he masterfully practiced for a number of years. After the Tony Henry…

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Mrs Robinson and the Graduation Day

Where were all the voices that cried foul? Where was the sabre rattling tribes that stood firm and would not let this pass? The West Ham fans were sold a dream, convinced that better days would finally come…but all that came to pass was a roll in the hay with mutton dressed as lamb and a feeling of unbridled abuse. “For God’s sake, Mrs Robinson. Here we are. You got me into…

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Dickensian Rights and the Orphans in the Workhouses

Who would have believed that in the twenty first century of footballing tribulations, the West Ham fans would be facing the fight of their supporting lives? When the Victorian masters on top of the hill would act with impunity, sneer, scoff and deride the spoon fed street urchins until revolutions are hissed with greater ambition? “The man Dickens, whom the world at large thought it knew, stood for all the Victorian virtues; probity, kindness, hard…

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Moore’s the Pitiful Display!

West Ham fans arrived at the London Stadium on Saturday last to spur on the team to better performance and result, to march in protest and to remember a fallen hero some 25 years past. It was meant to be so much Moore but the spectacle was anything but and it was hardly befitting his great memory. In all of the hullabaloo it seems many had forgotten what the day was supposed to be about. There were videos …

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Regatta Oars and Aficionado Boars

In the recesses of my sombre mind, I may yet see a flicker of hope that would ease my fears and make our club whole once more…and that may not mean surviving in the Premier League. On the whole, I am not convinced that certain patrons of our world-class stadium are indeed West Ham fans but rather fans of Premier League football. The move has generated an extra twenty thousand …

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Anadin Extra and the Singing Ultra

The pressure has been mounting for some time without release to ease fears or quell the rallying calls for uprising. The movers and shakers have brought issues to the boardroom table, to be met with comprehension, a quasi commitment to restore and rectify but layered with the verbiage of a seasoned business spin doctor and political lobbyist. Many would call for revolution for its own sake! Many would march for no better …

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More Than One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest!

There is much to question within our world and more that confuses, leaving people wondering if whatever they are hearing or seeing is actually real. Are we the confused ones or are there conspirators in our midst that would blur the lines to keep the truth from emerging? My paranoia has taken hold! “Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence, …

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Veni Vidi Vici

“Consciousness-one level is understanding where we are in space. Consciousness two is where we understand our position in society: who’s top dog, who’s underdog and who’s in the middle. And type-three consciousness is simulating the future. And type-three consciousness, only humans have this ability to see far into the future” – Michio Kaku We set out on northern adventures this Saturday to face Liverpool in their back …

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Nous sons Les Miserables! 

Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste. I’ve been around for a long, long years. Stole many a man’s soul and faith – Sympathy For The Devil – Rolling Stones. Ah yes, those unforgettable lyrics from Messrs Jagger and Richards were penned in 1968 and who knew that they would have the mirrored pertinence today and for all of our mighty woes? Whilst we continue to struggle on the field of play, we are continuously bombarded…

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We are the Borg! 

If there was ever a time when we needed Captain Jean-Luc Picard together with his crew to fly in with his USS Enterprise – D and save us from the clutches of the hive consciousness that is The Borg…then that time is surely now. The cybernetic organisms have hovered over our West Ham universe in their cuboid dwelling with little indication that they are ready to buzz off to alien worlds light years away. The collective consciousness we thought so…

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Is there a Silver Lining for Silva at West Ham?

Whenever being defeated becomes better than blaming those with entwined hands, it is as natural as a vote of confidence prior to impending severing of ties. We fans will be looking around, searching for culprits, identifying reasons and narrowing in on the minutia of when the season spiralled out of control. We may indeed get relegated, we may survive by the skin of our teeth or we may rise up to the heavenly heights of eleventh or thirteenth, …

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Dancing on Ice & Skating Thin

The arctic wind roared in from the North to smother us with dread, surround us in misery and to steal away any aspirations that we might pull away from a relegation battle. We had come off a reasonably impressive string of performances and had climbed the table, yet still tentative at best. We had not shown confidence in victory, we had not displayed cavalier pomp in parity but we had started …

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A Digestif to ease our Indigestion!

One could forgive a wry smile of incredulity when hearing false prophets proclaiming salvation from a fine Port…our answer to the countdown conundrum in midfield. However, the early indications may have us rethink our scepticism for our new ‘Super Mario’ Joao Mario, is looking very good indeed for his loan fee and potential buy on fee in the summer. The deal that seemed to lumber on for a week or so prior to…

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Comfortably Numb Are We? 

“Hello, Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?” Pink Floyd Well cover me in goose fat, whack up the oven and prick me when I’m done because the honeymoon is over as we have opened the gates of apathy and let in the plebs once more. I had taken a deep breath and exhaled to inflate my bubble and it had started to …

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A Call for Unity & A Shout for Solidarity!

The turbulent winds roll through the valley floor carrying away the thunderous sounds of united drums and the once brothers on the field of conflict with onlookers’ roar have disappeared behind a veil of unattainable wealth, they have lost the common touch and are sinking with hidden ambition. The modern fan is not foolhardy enough to believe that their Premier League football club always shares their same identity, collective goals and tribulations. However to sever the ties with …

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The Godfather: Going to the Mattresses!

When Marlon Brando built his portrayed mafia empire, ultimately he knew that his power was only as strong as the loyalty of his men and the legacy endowed upon his children. In Moyes, we have our very own Vito Corleone…The Boss…the man with the plan…The Godfather to guide us to premier legitimacy with his Genco Oil silky smooth football…or so we would hope. With the assured assistance from his Caporegimes …

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Sing a song a sixpence!

Let’s be honest…before Moyes came along we were like flat pancakes smothered in bitter lemon and in need of sugar. Yes our Crêpes Suzette had left a sour taste in our mouths and quite frankly I’d lost my appetite for anything more. So, along came William Wallace…who had suffered a few spankings but had come back with face painted claret and blue, chest puffed out, sword and shield in hand and ready to do …

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A fine bottle of Claret on a Blue Danube!

When the Austrian composer; Johann Strauss II composed ‘The Blue Danube’ in 1866, he had hoped for a greater reception from its first performance. On reflection he initially rebuffed with an indifference but after a reworking was able to finally realise its true potential and received high praise. Our Austrian composer also started with similar indifferent performances and the crowd looked quizzically upon a player of reputation but of little substance. Then came a reworking…inspired, influenced and dictated …

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Dancing in the dark!

Do you ever get the impression that the players crossing the white line for West Ham haven’t read the rule book or decided not to check the instructions before trying to build the Swedish white ash chest of drawers, irrespective of whether it turns out swell in the end? We seem empowered when playing the better teams, like gladiators in the Coliseum facing off to the Praetorian Guard but when it comes to teams…

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Jelly Beans & Rice Pudding?

In the movie: ‘My Cousin Vinny’, Joe Pesci’s character talks about “The Yoots” when actually meaning “Youths” and just as he was initially misunderstood, I wonder are we misunderstanding ‘The Yoots’ within the West Ham United system? I’ve always been a steadfast advocate of youth development and bringing that talent forward into the first team. “If you’re good enough, you’re old enough!” After all, we are The Academy of Football aren’t we, but are we …

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English Premier League Table

# Team P
1 Liverpool 6
2 Arsenal 6
3 Manchester City 4
4 Brighton & Hov… 4
5 Tottenham Hotspur 4
6 AFC Bournemouth 4
7 Sheffield United 4
8 Everton 4
9 Manchester United 3
10 Burnley 3
11 Norwich City 3
12 Leicester City 2
13 Wolverhampton Wanderers 1
14 Crystal Palace 1
15 Chelsea 1
16 West Ham United 1
17 Aston Villa 0
18 Newcastle United 0
19 Southampton 0
20 Watford 0

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