Up The Hammers – Latest West Ham United FC News

They were standing under a scaffold, each with an arm round the other’s neck, and Princess Karen knew which was which in a moment, because one of them had ‘DUM’ embroidered on his collar, and the other ‘DEE.’ ‘I suppose they’ve each got “David” round at the back of the collar,’ she said to herself. They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just…

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Alfie Lewis Excited About His First Contract with West Ham United

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Where the hell did that come from? OK, we played reasonably well at Stoke and defended well against Everton, but can anybody honestly say they saw us winning so comfortably? 1-0 may not sound like a pounding but had decent chances been converted, we would have run out 4-1 winners; and that scoreline would not have flattered us! The chances missed? Kouyate should have netted after Lloris blocked off Lanzini; Calleri should have buried the chance he…

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West Ham United have enjoyed a reasonable start to the season and currently sit fifth in the Premier League table after picking up nine points from their opening five matches.

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West Ham Diafra Sakho will play ahead of this weekends clash with Leicester at Upton Park

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Well what a diabolical start to the World Cup. The opening ceremony was cringeworthy with unimaginative dancers and singers that nobody could hear, but that proved the perfect prelude to the most embarrassingly engineered home nation victory you could ever dread to see. It really is time for referees to be marched in front of the world’s media and interrogated about decisions which are so ludicrous that they bring the entire game into disrepute and leave everybody suspecting that…

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With Spurs desperate for a replacement for Danny “A Rose by any other name would smell as shite” and with cash limited following the £100m splurge last summer, surely Pochettino should consider reuniting Lennon with McCartney, by signing the West Ham man recently released on a free. Before Spurs fans scoff, they should remember that West Ham did the treble over their rag bag bunch of overpriced millionaires last season, and “Linda” played in two of those …

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It seems amazing doesn’t it, that such a great player as Scott Parker can be relegated from the top division of English football THREE times in a – as yet unfinished – career. Anybody would think, looking at that record, that the guy wasn’t that much cop! Incredibly, despite helping Fulham to a next to bottom place finish in the Premier League, Parker was overlooked for this season’s Player of the Year award. Maybe his team has to finish rock bottom …

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So the latest big white carrot topped hope is apparently Jack Colback, because he is available on a free from Sunderland. Allardyce regards him as the best player presently available for nowt but he would wouldn’t he? Colback is an Allardyce type of player – high on energy and effort but very seriously lacking in one key department. Question. Aged 24, how many goals has Colback scored over his career? Answer, ten. Even more seriously, how many …

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Well he lost his mojo when Allardyce started playing him as the front man in a striker-less formation and then as a wide man because Jarvis was so consistently hopeless, but now, it seems, Diame simply wants out. How else can you account for his ridiculous comments about team mates not trying? Team mates not good enough might be a reasonable observation, but the one thing I witnessed all season was a team desperately trying to overcome its very …

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So, three players have gone and the first new recruit is on his way. I’m not overly excited about the prospect of Zarate, but he has to be better than Maiga, Cole, Downing and Jarvis, doesn’t he? The fact that he can play wide but can also score goals points to the direction in which we are heading: no change in the 4-3-3 tactics, just a change in personnel. I hope somebody has told the Argentinian…

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Take a look at the final league table. After 38 games, West Ham ended up with 40 points, just 7 clear of relegation. And six of those points came courtesy of victories over Spurs! God knows what would have happened had we not swept to that amazing 3-0 victory at White Hart Lane back in October. Without Carroll and any forward worthy of the name, we looked nailed on certainties for the drop. Keeping clean sheets is …

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Some of you may have noticed that this blog went quiet in February when we launched the winning run that secured our survival and that was down to good old fashioned East End superstition. Many would have promised not to change their underpants until West Ham lost, then until West Ham were guaranteed safety, but as a blogger, I pledged not to post until we were safely over the line. And, to be honest, with Allardyce in charge, what was there to …

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I only saw the Chico Flores-Andy Carroll love tussle for the first time on MOTD2 last night, and on first viewing, I must admit my heart sank. From one angle, Carroll definitely swings his arm back and appears to make contact. And that’s the view the referee had. But seen from the other side, and all becomes clear. Yes the arm moves backwards, but not maliciously, and the reaction of Flores is absolutely pathetic. So now the FA face…

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Well it looks like being one hell of a scrap to avoid the drop this season. We were briefly out of the bottom three, only for Moyeschester United to choke yet again – this time at Stoke. So now three points separates tenth placed Stoke and relegation – and that is crazy with more than half the season in the can! What’s even crazier is that our survival could now depend on an appeal to Carroll’s red card. Nolan’s two goals today showed how …

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Well that would be a kick in the David Haighs wouldn’t it? Former Leeds United favourite Max Gradel is rumoured to have rejected a move to the ‘Yorkshire Briefly Greats’ after West Ham made a late, late move for the fleet of foot maestro. Gradel himself was unavailable for comment but a source close to Leeds, Mr Lee Vitout said: “Obviously everybody at Leeds is disappointed that Max has decided not to join our…

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Those of us with long enough memories will read the suggestions of Carroll being rushed back early with a sense of deep trepidation. Who can forget the lumbering shadow of the player that he once was that Ashton cut when he was rushed back following his ankle break? Look at his scoring record in the history books and it would be difficult to imagine that anything was ever seriously wrong –  19 goals in 43 starts (with another 13 appearances as a sub) is a record that Andy Carroll could probably …

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Woe to those calling for Allardyce’s head! It’s not his fault. What else could he do? His squad is decimated. Other teams make changes for the Cup. We play Man City on Wednesday. They have had an extra day’s rest. The priority is the Prem. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, far from sack him, Sullivan and Gold had better thrash out a contract extension, doubling the tactical guru’s wages! This is the man who invented 4-6-0 and who wound the clock…

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No pressure game? Cobblers. this must be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back surely. Today was utterly and completely disgraceful and shameful. Never mind playing kids, the team played without pride, without spirit, without organisation and without shape. And who is to blame for that exactly? Sullivan and Gold now have to act. If Allardyce can’t motivate the likes of Jarvis and Downing to put in a shift – and neither broke sweat all afternoon despite sharing the armband – then what …

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Well ‘Arry’s 100% record in 2014 was exploded with a vengeance at Goodison. After the narrow and late, late victory over little Donny, hope surged through the veins of the gRRRRs, but with England’s 666, Robert Green, rested, ‘Arry’s boys folded like an England cricket team in Australia. The gulf in class was huge: bloody hell, Jelavic scoring twice in a game is akin to club cricketer Smith scoring centuries in back to back tests against Anderson …

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What a pile of crap! Look at the starting eleven today and it was embarrassing. Never mind the injuries, the squad Allardyce has put together is simply pathetic, and the reason, of course, is the ludicrous purchase of the injured Carroll and the superfluous Downing. Any team featuring Demel, McCarthorse, O’Brien, a semi fit Diarra, Taylor, Collison and Maiga in the starting line up is going to struggle. Where was the creativity? Where was the flair?…

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For 18 months the guy has looked pretty bloody hopeless but, following his match winning goal against Spurs and sparkling all round performance after coming off the bench, there is the hope that he may be about to deliver. True it was only against Spurs, and even Vaz Te and Jarvis can score against Spurs this season, and true one goal does not a Premiership striker make, but confidence is such a…

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Well has anybody ever been more wrong? I lambasted the team selection. I said if Spurs scored, there would be no way back – and we could have scored five! And I mocked Jarvis and Maiga, the two goal scorers. Add in criticism of the inclusion of Adrian, who was excellent, Diarra who played with real composure, and Taylor who set up the Jarvis equaliser brilliantly and also forced a superb save from Lloris, and I couldn’t have…

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Ok, he doesn’t have many options, but why the hell are Taylor, Adrian and Diarra starting? I know some regard the Capital One Fan Cup as a nuisance distraction, but we are playing Spurs for pity’s sake, and we are one win away from a place in the semi-final. The team screams confused priorities. If we are saving players for the weekend – and what’s the point of that given …

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With Watford losing their fifth home game on the trot and West Brom sacking Steve Clarke, the tantalising prospect of re-uniting the management dream team at Upton Park has become an outside possibility. Many West Ham fans believe that Zola has unfinished business at the Boleyn and absolve the lovable Italian of any blame whatsoever for the decimation of the half decent team that Curbishley handed over when he …

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Well, looking back after the event, it was all very comfortable wasn’t it? Based on that showing, Fulham are in deep, deep, deep trouble and we look too good to go down. But let’s take a deep breath and look at things honestly. The team that started the game had scored just two goals between them all season. Some leapt on my negative half time report, in which I made Fulham favourites to run out 1-0 winners, based on the fact that they had goal scorers in their team …

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