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Start all the Clocks, Reconnect the Phone – Sears has Scored!

Start all the clocks, reconnect the telephone, Encourage the dog to bark with a juicy bone, Plonk the pianos and beat a snare drum Bring out the bandwagon, let the admirers come. Let aeroplanes circle roaring overhead Scribbling on the sky the message ‘He is not Dead!’ Put claret and…

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Liverpool’s King Kenny to be Replaced By President Rafa

So now it is the referee’s fault. Tiredness, bad luck, poor officials, Dalglish has trotted out all the old excuses. Perhaps it is time to admit that either his players are crap, or he is failing as a manager. Dear God, Villa rocked up at Anfield today…

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Men in tights

Rio and Anton Ferdinand will never be football’s version of the brothers Gallagher. If it is war all the time for the Oasis siblings, the relationship between the Manchester United and Queens Park Rangers central defenders was summed up in a Kampala hotel bar five years ago. Then, in …

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Strong Woman: Ambition, Grit and a Great Pair of Heels by Karren Brady – review

The businesswoman and Apprentice star shines when she drops the corporate line and gets personal Karren Brady is one of the UK’s best-known businesswomen. From the age of 18 she worked for Saatchi & Saatchi before moving on to David Sullivan’s Sport newspaper empire. By the time she was 23, Sullivan…

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Liverpool’s Dalglish Desperately Seeking Excuses

So now it is the referee’s fault. Tiredness, bad luck, poor officials, Dalglish has trotted out all the old excuses. Perhaps it is time to admit that either his players are crap, or he is failing as a manager. Dear God, Villa rocked up at …

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Portsmouth’s draw at Southampton bad news for Reading too!

Every West Ham fan had his fingers, toes and cock crossed today, hoping that Pompey could get a result at Southampton; but any Reading fans wishing ill on the Saints probably miscalculated very badly indeed. The key for both Reading and Southampton was to disillusion West Ham. I kept…

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Why West Ham should take some Spanish lessons

The Olympic stadium – another bloated, over-budget stadium for the English capital city of London. From this Sarria Stadium To this.. Estadi Olímpic Lluís With the debate over its post-games future still raging, League One side Leyton Orient are not happy …

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QPR Must Sit & Wait & Pray Whilst Villa Sink Faster Than Birmingham Last Season!

The collapse in form of Swansea is great news for the gRs. The Swans’ wings have been well and truly clipped and Hughes must fancy his chances of capitalising when Wales’s very own Barcelona travel to London. But for now, QPR are idle and praying that by the time …

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The West Ham Curse Lifted. Pressure Mounts on Southampton

That’s it, I’m moving abroad! When I went in search of Mido earlier in the season, we thumped Forest 4-1 at the City Ground; and now I’m in Transylvania, hunting Van Helsing, and we annihilate Barnsley! I’m the bloody Jonah! When I meet up with…

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Barnsley 0 West Ham United 4: Away-day delight for Sam Allardyce

West Ham United kept their automatic promotion hopes alive with a thumping victory at Barnsley. The result never looked in doubt on a great day for Sam Allardyce’s side.

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Barnsley 0 West Ham United 4 | Championship match report

West Ham United kept Reading and Southampton in their sights in the Championship’s automatic promotion race thanks to some kamikaze Barnsley defending at Oakwell. The Hammers, who started the game seven points adrift of the new leaders Reading, who had earlier beaten Leeds United, never…

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Hammers crush Barnsley

West Ham United kept their automatic promotion hopes alive by thrashing Barnsley 4-0.

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Allardyce on Good Friday Rant.

After Reading, it’s the Long Good Friday and Sam’s responding to the pressure: “West Ham fans? Well, let’s put it this way. Apart from their assholes being about fifty yards away from their brains, and the choirboys playing “‘hunt the thimble” with the rest of them, they…

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Lee Westwood with Ant and Dec at the Masters – caption competition: April 6, 2012

Each week, Sportsmail has a caption competition for you to battle it out for a brilliant prize of a £100 Sportsbook bet with our friends at Paddy Power. This week’s picture features Lee Westwood with Ant and Dec at the Masters in Augusta.

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West Ham Misinformation Bureau Working Hard To Combat Allardyce Rant

So the OS has gone into overdrive in an attempt to combat Big Sam’s bollocks rant. In no way was Allardyce impugning the fans! As if! Allardyce reveres the fans. Allardyce understands that the club is the fans. Allardyce believes the fans…

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Cammy Bell?

West Ham United have been linked with a move for Kilmarnock goalkeeper Cammy Bell. Cammy Bell The 24-year-old helped lead his side to a shock victory over Celtic in the League Cup final. Kilmarnock boss Kenny Shiels told the Daily…

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”West Ham fans are talking b***ocks”

Under-fire West Ham boss Sam Allardyce has launched a foul-mouthed attack on fans who criticise his team selection. Big Sam labelled unhappy Hammers supporters “deluded” after a recent game against Peterborough and repeated that attack in a press conference before last…

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Joke of the day

An old farmer and his wife are laying in bed when the farmer reaches over to his wife, grabs her breast and says “If this still gave milk, we could get rid of the cow.” Unaffected, the wife reaches over, grabs his cock and said “And if this…

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Reading Defeat Unhinges Under Pressure Allardyce

He’s lost it hasn’t he? The latest rant tells us all we need to know. There’s answering your critics and there’s losing control of yourself, and Allardyce has lost control. I know football is the working man’s game and that East Enders are not exactly slow…

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Barnsley v West Ham United prediction

West Ham United face a trip to Barnsley tomorrow knowing they need to win to keep their fading automatic promotion hopes alive.

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Hammers linked with Kilmarnock star

West Ham United have been linked with a move for Kilmarnock goalkeeper Cammy Bell.

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Sam Allardyce hits out at West Ham United fans again

Sam Allardyce has done little to improve his increasingly strained relationship with West Ham United supporters after he told them: ‘You’re talking b******s’.

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Gold stadium ‘update’ LBC interview – 04-04-12

More: Gold stadium ‘update’ LBC interview – 04-04-12

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Princess Brady’s Chosen Few Rubber Stamp Stadium Switch – Or Else!

Bloody cheek. Brady is claiming West Ham fans back the move to the OS on the basis of canvassing the chosen few who have been allowed to see the plans so far. So “controlled” is this sample that there “hasn’t been a single…

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‘That’ Lansbury goal

Read More: ‘That’ Lansbury goal

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Saints want ‘cant be arsed’ Upson

Southampton are ready to rescue wantaway Matthew Upson from his Stoke nightmare as manager Nigel Adkins begins plans to strengthen his squad for next season. Captain over Parker. How did he do it? With six games left to play this term, …

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