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Jesus Resurrected On Green Street

And so it came to pass that the Lord came again unto the Earth in a place that had been named Green Street. And the people were sore amazed when the Messiah came amongst the pimps and the whore and the arch apostate Allardyce. For the soil was polluted and the air was polluted and the…

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Could it be true? Tevez for half a season?

Rumours are rife on Twitter that Carlos Tevez is close to making a return to West Ham United. The Manchester City striker has recently seen proposed transfers to AC Milan, Inter Milan and Paris Saint-Germain fall through. However, Upton Park has now emerged as the shock destination for the 27-year-old, who is currently in …

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QPR Fans to Demand the Return of Warnock!

Well would you believe it? I throw in my lot with the Hoops, invest a fiver in them to win the FA Cup, and they duly slip out of the competition with a whimper. Under Warnock, QPR were good enough to beat Chelsea courtesy of a dodgy penalty; under Hughes they surrendered in similar fashion. Sadly, because of Anton’s petulance, I…

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Sam Sets The Standard

How depressing was Allardyce’s article in the Evening Standard? No hint of an apology for our awful performance against Forest. Instead, he serves up a dish of smug, self congratulatory triumphalism, with a garnish of caution in case it all goes wrong. Doctor Evil’s understanding of the game is summed up when he boasts that stats…

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Blackburn line up Gijon defender Alberto Botia

Blackburn are looking to sign Sporting Gijon defender Alberto Botia should they receive improved offers for defender Chris Samba over the weekend.

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QPR’s Anton refusing a hand job

Well the guy is acting like a tosser so it is probably good news from Terry’s point of view that Ferdinand is refusing a handshake, because heaven only knows what might be coating the palm of Anton’s hand! There have been those defending Ferdinand, arguing that he hasn’t stirred all this up. Well his reluctance to …

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Bye, bye, bye Ilunga!

We saw the light on the night that he signed his full time contract We saw the flickering shadows of money on his mind He was our left back And as he deceived us we watched and went out of our minds My, my, my, Ilunga! Why, why, why, Ilunga? We could see that guy was no good for us But …

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What did he expect?

For some reason Upson has convinced himself he is a good player. If ever there was a player we should of cashed in it was him. In the end the wanker ran out his contract and couldn’t even be arsed in the end contributing to our relegation. Hope he fucking rots! Great view from the Bench Matthew Upson is…

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West Ham make a new LOWER bid for Rhodes

That’s right folks! West Ham United have made a new ‘improved’ bid for Rhodes. It might be age creeping up on me but I’m sure everytime we make a bid for him it lowers in price. Is this some new mind bending trick to break them?

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The Jelavic soap opera

Now I’m confused…. A. We show interest B. Liverpool step in player disses us C. Liverpool lose interest he starts kisses ass D. All papers say bid made McCoist insists no bids E. Me make 7 million bid McCoist insists no bids F. McCoist says bid made G. …but it’s rejected H. …

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Ex-Hammers keeper joins Greek champions

Roy Carroll has signed for Greek champions Olympiakos on an 18-month contract.

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QPR, PSG and Spurs Target Samba is a Disgrace to Football!

Dear God, I hope Blackburn fine Samba and leave him to rot in the reserves for the rest of the season. The guy signed a contract extension last year and is the club captain at Blackburn, but with Tottenham, PSG and QPR sniffing, he slapped in a transfer request. So far, so fair enough. Everybody is entitled…

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Roy Carroll joins Olympiakos

Greek champions Olympiakos have signed former Northern Ireland goalkeeper Roy Carroll on an 18-month contract.

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Theo Walcott and Duchess of Cornwall – caption competition: January 27, 2011

Each week, Sportsmail has a caption competition for you to battle it out for a brilliant prize of a £100 Sportsbook bet with our friends at Paddy Power. This week’s picture features Theo Walcott and Duchess of Cornwall.

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Roy Carroll joins Olympiacos

Greek champions Olympiacos have signed former Northern Ireland goalkeeper Roy Carroll on an 18-month contract.

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West Ham United trials for Roman Torres and Zlatan Muslimovic

West Ham United are giving a trial to Panama central defender Roman Torres. Manager Sam Allardyce is eager to have back-up despite signing George John from FC Dallas.

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Everton consider deal for Guillaume Hoarau from Paris Saint-Germain

Everton have followed up their interest in Paris St Germain striker Guillaume Hoarau and are mulling a bid to sign him on loan.

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Tottenham’s ‘Arry Can’t Reed and Rite!

No surprise there! According to ‘Arry, he’s never “wrote” a letter in his life. He aint a wealer deeler, ‘e’s a football manager, but he can’t spel for his liffe and is so disorgasmized that he couldn’t posibly hide monie from the tax man. Mind you, this inability to write hasn’t stopped ‘Arry from earning money from News…

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Is Yo-Yo a No-No for Sullivan & Gold or Perfectly Acceptable?

There is a body of opinion that holds that relegation suited Sullivan and Gold. It enabled them to cut wages across the board and nudged a host of high wage earners out of the door. The Eggert, Duxbury, Curbishley, Nani & Zola eras did for us good and proper. Bad signings, bad sales, bad …

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Rumours coming thick and fast

West Ham United manager Sam Allardyce has reportedly made Barcelona midfielder Alexander Hleb his number one target for the transfer window. The talented playmaker has been a bitter disappointment since moving from Arsenal in 2008 for a fee of around £13m and manager Pep Guardiola has decided to let his man find…

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”I’m not a wheeler & dealer”

Read the original post: ”I’m not a wheeler & dealer”

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Great piece on Di Canio

As with many football geniuses, Paolo Di Canio made his impression on the game both with the sublime skills he showed on the pitch and his fiery temperament that caused controversy wherever he went. The index to his autobiography, published in 2000, speaks volumes as, alphabetically, in the (a) section under his name …

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Deal or no deal?

Rangers have reportedly rejected a bid from West Ham United for striker Nikica Jelavic. The Championship side lodged an offer of around £7 million for the Croatian after their initial enquiry. However Rangers have rejected the offer, telling West Ham that the offer did not meet their valuation of the player. ©…

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”At least one important new signing in the next 48 hours” – Sullivan

West Ham United are hoping to conclude at least one important new signing in the next 48 hours. Joint Chairman David Sullivan says he and manager Sam Allardyce are working hard to make additions to the Hammers squad as the club continues its push for promotion from the npower Championship. With the transfer window drawing to a close on Tuesday 31 January…

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Ex QPR & Hammers legend Phil Parkes tells it how it is at Upton Park!

Well said Phil Parkes! He was always a safe pair of hands and a level headed guy, and now he has come out and said it exactly as it is at Upton Park. According to Parkes, we only have 4 Premiership quality players in the squad: Green, Tomkins, Taylor and Noble (possibly). It is interesting that Cole and Collison …

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Fernandes breaks the bank to bolster QPR

There were those who scoffed. There were those who said Fernandes would try to cling to Premiership survival on the cheap. There were those who doubted the commitment of the Malaysian to the cause. Well what have those doubters got to say for themselves now? Now only has Fernandes signed Taiwo, they have now signed Nedum into the bargain! And…

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