Archive | The Game’s Gone Crazy

Allardyce’s Negativity Plunges West Ham Back Into Danger

Dear God, has this man got any balls? Apparently, we set up in the first half to see what Aston Villa had to offer, and once we established not much, only then did we go out to try to win the game! What a confession from Allardyce. You are playing against a team that ships goals like the Titanic shipped water after rubbing shoulders with that iceberg, and…

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All Hail Frank Lampard For Cracking The Brazil Nut

The guy just can’t stop scoring! Ever since Chelsea indicated that they no longer wanted him, Lampard has scored goal after brilliant goal, and with his winner last night, he created just another little bit of history. Sadly Fat Frank, as he is unaffectionately known, will never receive the credit he deserves down West Ham way, but after Moore and…

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Allardyce Hit Where It Hurts

Eight grand, I ask you! Eight thousand for calling the ref a coward and coming as close as a manager dare of suggesting that the bastard in black was a cheat. I bet the guy, who pocketed a million pound bonus for securing promotion last season and stands to double that if we stay up, is destined for a sleepless night tonight. How will he ever pay a fine of  that magnitude? Some might even

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Mark Noble – Fourth Highest Successful Tackle Rate In Prem!

Another embarrassing stat for Noble’s critics. Not only does he complete more passes than any other West Ham player, not only does he complete more tackles than any other West ham player, not only does he average more miles per game than any other West Ham player, not only does he sit fourth in the Premiership table for average miles covered in a …

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Paulista Must Start At Aston Villa

Two games played and two goals scored. OK, it is only for the Academy team but so what? This guy has a record of scoring and his tail is up. Our away record is abysmal so previous formations and personnel have not worked. It’s time for something different. Allardyce has to abandon his negative mentality at Villa Park. Going forward, this Villa team is half decent, with Benteke and Ivebonkedawhore a more than lively pairing, …

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Il Duce Di Canio Throws Toys Out Of Swindon Pram

So poor old Paolo is upset because the administrator, on behalf of the new owners of Swindon Town, sold a player to Bournemouth without getting the OK from Il Duce first which is, according to the combustible Italian, in breach of his contract. This has echoes of Alan Turds Curbishley who walked out…

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West Ham Ram Warnock’s Comments Down His Throat

Poor old Stephen Warnock. He claims he joined Leeds United because they are a bigger club than West Ham, but whilst we bullied Wales’ first team into submission, Warnock Junior’s new employers slumped to defeat against second string Welsh team, Cardiff City. Poor Warnock Junior must be scratching his head in bemusement. Whilst West Ham attracted a full house of over 34,000, despite a run of disappointing results…

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West Ham 1 Swansea 0 – A HUGE 3 points!

Bloody hell, we needed that. Swansea were unbeaten in seven and had beaten Chelsea over two legs without conceding anything more than a ball boy, so certainly were no soft touches, but anything less than a win today would have seen us knee deep in the relegation mire. Now, it barely touches our ankles thanks to Everton’s and Wigan’s late equalisers and…

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Half Time West Ham 0 Swansea 0 – Whilst Villa and Wigan are Winning!

Look at the possession count and we are second best, look at the shot count and we are unlucky not to be winning. Nolan could have scored twice, forcing a good save on both occasions, and Vaz Te had a rasping shot from outside the box turned around the post, but …

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Sleepwalking Towards Relegation

Hush now. Be very quiet. David Gold has been unwell and needs a nap. David Sullivan is having a kip too. And Big Sam and his squad were up early after that Arsenal tonking and so are having forty winks. Transfer window? Ease it gently shut, there’s a dear, don’t want anybody to get a chill or to hear the …

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Tony Gale Rates Carlton Cole Better Than Chamakh and Carroll

For two games in a row I’ve listened to ex Hammer Tony Gale insisting that, as a centre back, he would rather face Chamakh or Carroll than Carlton Cole. That’s all very well Tony, but who would you rather face if you were a keeper or the back of a net? Actually, why would you be worried about facing any of them?

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Fulham 3 West Ham 1 – Disgraceful

So, we are now embroiled in a relegation battle proper. Those who argued that we were safe had clearly forgotten the example of Shafting United during our Great Escape season. We may stay up, but only if the teams below us keep losing because this side are not going to win many more points. What can you say after this inept surrender? Thank God Norwich and Reading didn’t win! Reading are now a real worry. They seem…

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Half Time Fulham 1 West Ham 0 – Allardyce attempting to emulate Zola!

Even Grant won at Craven Cottage. Enough said? Zola lost, because Zola was a wet behind the ears numpty, but every other manager of our club has seen Craven Cottage as three easy points. Before Zola you had to go back to the 1960s for our last defeat there – 65 or 63? – but all the signs are there that we will fall …

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Rats Boarding The Sinking West Ham Ship!

Only at West Ham! With the teams at the bottom edging just that little bit closer last night, the latest rumour is linking us with a Romanian Rat. Razvan, as he is Christened, has won league titles before – but only in Romania and in the Ukraine, and believe me, football is not of the highest standards in this …

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Half A Million For Half A Season – Pogatetz Signs

I’m not going to pretend to be enthusiastic about this, but of the two, Pogatetz has to be a better bet than Warnock. At least our latest “Mad Dog” plays with passion! He aint Repka and he aint Martin Allen, but if he plays with fire in his belly, he may yet endear himself to West …

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West Ham Failing To Learn From Old Mistakes In Transfer Market

Warnock and Pogatetz, I ask you! If it is a case of finding a warm live body, any warm live body, my Mum would just about qualify – though she has a chill and so can’t go out at the moment. This nonsense has gone on for too long. Defenders win games just as much as forwards do. We carried Lucash Neil for too long. We …

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Seven In Morning Meeting Just Plain Stupid

So Allardyce spat out his dummy after the thumping at the Emirates and insisted that the players show up the following morning at seven o’clock for a dress down. How stupid. What exactly was going to be achieved by that, other than breeding resentment? We were trounced by a better team, fired up by Allardyce’s…

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Anton, Green & Ben Haim Feature in QPR Horror Show!

You have to laugh. No really you do. You just can’t stop yourself. Four goals shipped against a Division Three team at home! And three ex Hammers in the starting line up, with a fourth, Zamora, coming off the bench. Well done ‘Arry! Time to focus on the League!

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Allardyce Discovers Facts Of Life

View the original here: Allardyce Discovers Facts Of Life

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Arsenal 5 West Ham 1 – How can the Gunners cope without Van Persie?

Before kick off I warned that Allardyce was asking for a good kicking. God only knows what he was thinking of when he poked Wenger with a stick and effectively rubbished Podolski, Walcott and co. What a fool. He’s going to be an even bigger fatter Sam after tucking in to ten helpings of Humble Pie this evening. What can you say after that second half? Other…

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Half Time Arsenal 1 West Ham 1 – O’Brien In Purgatory!

Well, so far so good, but I haven’t got any finger nails left. Odd team selection, but presumably it is down to Cole and Jarvis being tired and Diame and Diarra wanting to defect. Given we have at least three understudies out there, and O’brien out of position, we have done bloody well. Poor O’Brien. Every time Walcott gets the ball the Irishman…

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Allardyce Inviting A Good Kicking

What is Allardyce up to? I know he loves putting one over on Wenger, proving that the science of a haymaker punch can flatten the best technical boxer in the world, but I can’t see the sense in goading him about his sub standard strikers BEFORE we play them tonight! The Arsenal forwards looked pretty decent at Upton Park, and I don’t remember watching the second half thinking, “My God they’re missing Van Persie”. In …

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Maiga, Diarra and Diame to Depart

Talk about rats abandoning a floating ship! I’ve made my feelings about Diarra clear in the thread below, and to be honest, neither Allardyce nor myself will worry about Maiga buggering off to France. Diame is more of a concern but if he doesn’t want to play for the club, stuff him. He isn’t that special as he and Wenger will find out should he switch to Arsenal. Question is, who will Allardyce bring in …

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Diarra Can Take A Running Jump!

Bloody nerve. Diarra is complaining that he was misled when he joined West Ham because, after sitting on his arse injured for three months, he hasn’t been ushered along a red carpet straight into the team. I wouldn’t mind so much had the guy looked anything more than average when given the chance to play. At Sunderland he was bloody awful, ten yards off the pace and getting caught in…

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West Ham Fans Should Get Off Allardyce’s Back

Bloody hell, I can’t believe I wrote that headline. Am I sickening for something? Has Doctor Evil slipped me some drug that distorts the thought processes. I was one of his biggest critics, and I here I am defending the great big Northern bastard! There’s a few reasons why West Ham fans should get off his back. Firstly, his dealings in the transfer market have been bloody good. We don’t know how…

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Time for Nolan to go?

Something truly remarkable happened yesterday. With time running down and Allardyce desperate for a winning goal, Vaz Te was sent on and Captain Kev was withdrawn. The look on Nolan’s face said it all. Bewildered. Shocked. Betrayed. It was like a son walking in to his bedroom to find his sixteen year old girl friend having sex with his Dad! And you can understand the amazement. If you need a…

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English Premier League Table

# Team P
1 Manchester City 93
2 Liverpool 92
3 Chelsea 74
4 Tottenham Hotspur 71
5 Arsenal 69
6 Manchester United 58
7 West Ham United 56
8 Leicester City 52
9 Brighton & Hov… 51
10 Wolverhampton Wanderers 51
11 Newcastle United 49
12 Crystal Palace 48
13 Brentford 46
14 Aston Villa 45
15 Southampton 40
16 Everton 39
17 Leeds United 38
18 Burnley 35
19 Watford 23
20 Norwich City 22

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