Up The Hammers – Latest West Ham United FC News

Well it looks like we have been found out. I warned that the cocky optimism being shown by some was misplaced and that first half confirmed what I have been warning for three weeks now – we face a battle to avoid the drop. Going forward, we are clueless. Cole is trying but there is no movement. Jarvis is misfiring …

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Like Moses, Yossi is heading off into the wilderness by returning to Chelsea, and like his great forefather, he is destined to simply glimpse rather than enjoy the Promised Land. Because let’s face it, he aint going to get a game for the Plastics is he? To what extent his return …

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Oh dear. The wood has walked to Dunsinane. Was Sharp not of woman born? Luckily most of Leeds’ rivals failed to capitalise on the 4-2 thumping so Old Big Gob’s team remain in touch with the teams hoping to feed off play off place scraps come the end of the season. That said,    a reverse at Hull will kill off any hope of automatic…

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Interesting events at QPR. With Pardew praising the endeavour of the Rangers players after the narrow Newcastle victory, it seems ‘Arry may have dropped a brick with his criticism of the overpaid, overhere and underachieving darlings in Hoops. After claiming there were players at the club who were being paid too much, Redknapp appears…

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It gets better and better for the Whites. The fightback against Middlesbrough was hugely important, and with so many results breaking in their favour, Leeds are suddenly in with a real promotion shout.   To stay in the mix, however, the away form has to be sorted out. The charge up the table has been coutesy of four …

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Ignore that epic second 45 minutes against Chelsea, and the picture is worrying. The injuries have mounted, the cardboard thin squad has been found out, and the team are on a bad run. Sure we got a draw at the Hawthornes but we played West Brom at a good time and rarely troubled them. The…

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Well I have scoffed for six months now so it is only fair that I offer congratulations and best wishes for the Christmas season to all associated with Leeds United. No ifs, buts or maybes here. This is the time of year when we should be charitable to all men and when we should offer a hand of friendship no matter what. So, this could be the start …

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…London 24 and their effort “McDonald: Wally Downes’ departure hasn’t affected us”. Maybe not but Burger King, the local kebab joints, the chip shops and curry houses etcetera are all hopping mad!

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It was a salutary lesson, or should have been. At the very least, it was a slap around the arse for all those Leeds fans who repeatedly hark back decades in a desperate attempt to prove that Leeds remain one of the biggest clubs in the country. Five goals shipped in 45 minutes to a team suffering jet …

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Oh dear. Poor Old Big Gob. At half time he was rehearsing in his head his “Stick that where the sun don’t shine” speech for Benny Benitez, but come the end of the match, his dreams of Elland Road glory had become a waking nightmare. Chelsea spent 45 minutes getting the sleep out of their eyes and then crushed Chumpionship …

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So Taarabt wants to play in the African Cup of Nations after all. That’s very bad news for Redknapp and probably means that the Moroccan will be sold in January. To be honest, it sounded like Redknapp was trying to talk up his price after his weekend goals, claiming he was good enough to play for anybody and comparing him to Il Duce Di Canio. With money from the sale of Adel and Granero, ‘Arry can have a bit …

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  The nine to one victory for those supporting strike action on the London Underground on Boxing Day may be the best result of the season for West Ham! With so many players out injured, delaying the game is ideal for the Hammers, especially given the talk of signing new recruits in the January window. It’s hard to see how the…

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Bloody hell, it comes to something when Jesus can’t use the word gay without picking up a £10,000 fine! We all thought crucifixion was a bit harsh for turning over a few market stalls in the Temple, but now Jesus can’t even Tweet a word in the English language without paying out a King’s ransom! In the mad PC world we now live in, Jesus…

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Dear me. Poor Scott Duxbury. After finding himself at the epicentre of the Tevez affair whilst at West Ham, he now finds himself embroiled in a mess left behind by previous Watford owner Laurence Bassini. Watford fans, however, should be reassured by the news that Mr Duxbury is heading up Watford’s defence and “has …

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  I didn’t realise that the feud between Warnock and Benitez goes back in that infamous night at the Cottage when Liverpool fielded their stiffs, allowing Fulham to win and so escape the drop, relegating Sheffield United. And there we were, thinking Shafting United were relegated because of Tevez! Far from it! It was Benitez what relegated the Blunted Blades apparently! So why the bloody hell did we pay twenty five million quid in compensation? I…

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  So Big Chief Broken Knee is now threatening to walk out on Newcastle, desperate for a move back to London with Arsenal. How long will he stay at the Gunners if the switch happens? Only as long as it takes for the terms of his next release clause to be met. This guy has all the loyalty of a parasite. He will feed on his host for as long as it suits, then, like the rat that he is, …

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So, Poyet has come out and said it. The Championship may be competitive but the quality of the football is crap. Any team worth its salt would be storming the division, but instead mediocrity is enough to keep you in the running for promotion. Leeds fans have the cheek to mock an away draw …

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The game will be quickly forgotten – very quickly. The excitement value was zero but, if at the end of the season it turns out to be a sterile encounter between two mid table teams, who cares? This was a point well won, a crucial point on the road to survival, a vital point given the way the teams at the bottom have been picking up points lately. Five more wins and …

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What a dire 45 minutes. Nothing, absolutely nothing, to set the pulses racing. Was it 3-3 the last time we played at the Hawthornes? This one is making up for that goal fest of a game! Anything to report? O’Brien collected an absolutely stupid yellow card. We are allowing West Brom too many shots from outside the box. Taylor has been busy up the right flank. Reid could have turned in a knock down from a corner. Carlton sent …

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Still no Tomkins so Ginge continues at centre back, O’Brien at left back because of McCartney’s absence, O’Neil and Taylor start, as does Cole. To be fair, Allardyce doesn’t have many options as the subs bench shows. True Tomkins is benched, but the other outfield players are Spence, Lletget, Moncur and Maiga. Thre’s even an untaken shirt! Any more …

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If reports are true, Allardyce is offering the brainless Maiga as a makewight in a deal to sign Remy. I’m not sure how good Loic Remy is, but he must be a huge improvement on the headless chicken that is Modimo Maiga. The trouble is, with Chelsea also reported to be interested, it’s unlikely that we will capture Remy. So where does that leave Maiga? A

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Nose bleed time, Leeds are up to twelfth in the Championship after today’s win, and what-is-more, Old Big Gob’s team won by two clear goals for the first time this season. It’s beginning to look like Fortress Elland Road all of a sudden and should the Whites beat Boro, they could suddenly be on the shoulder of the promotion …

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So Hell Hadji’s agent managed to con the new Leeds board by claiming that two Premiership clubs were interested in signing the Phlegm Machine. The man who wasn’t good enough for a long term contract with relegated Doncaster has somehow engineered an 18 month contract with the once mighty Leeds United. Some might think it strange that the oil rich former giants of English football are reduced to signing a Doncaster reject, but…

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It may only be the Capital One Fan Cup, but should Leeds dispose of a weary Chelsea team, knackered after their exploits in the World Club Championship, they have a dream opportunity of making it through to Wembley. The semifinal line up hardly makes you shudder does it? Bradford City, Swansea, Aston Villa…some of us remember the old Watney Cup and the League…

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So GFH have “every expectation” of completing the deal to buy Leeds despite the delayed payment. That’s an interesting choice of words. I turn here to the New York Times, which in June 2005 wrote, ” Never before has Labour governed for two full terms, let alone for three with every expectation of a fourth”. And to a spokesman on behalf of Buckingham Palace who said,  “Their Royal Highnesses had every…

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So Wally is no more. He is departed. E’s passed on! This Wally is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! Or he’s probably on his way to Reading, which amounts to the same thing. Has there been a falling out at West Ham? Did Wally and Big Sam go for …

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