Up The Hammers – Latest West Ham United FC News

Life’s a bitch. The early season table means nothing except once your position is established, it’s bloody hard to change it. Nine points from nine is what promotion charges are made of, but Old Big Gob Warnock’s boys are still only in tenth place, with the possibility of slipping lower with results still awaited from this round of fixtures. Meanwhile Watford just can’t stop scoring after that 6-1 thumping of Leeds. They were at it again …

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фантастично, невероятно,  блестящ – I watched the game in a bar in Viliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria and this has to be one of the best days ever. Half time I was ranting about referee Atkinson and the disgraceful decision to disallow Nolan’s goal for an invisible “foul” by Collins, and by the end I was toasting the bastard in the black for allowing Cole’s goal, despite a blatant foul, and Abramovitch  …

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Why is it that I when I read about Lorimer and Grayson’s spat, I picture Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough wielding handbags over the garden fence? In the white corner in the wrinkled tights is Lorimer; in the blue, in curlers and head scarf, Grayson. Still, it’s a good excuse for some Dawson gags: Warnock said to the chemist, ‘Can I have some sleeping pills for the Chairman?’ He said, ‘Why?’ Warnock said, …

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Admittedly it remains a rumour but I predicted that as soon as he was appointed, ‘Arry would target Scotty, and lo and behold, the former West Ham “legend” is now an identified target. I would love it, just love it, if Parker was shown the door by AVB and obliged to join Green, Anton, Zamora and Dyer in a relegation dog fight in the Bush – a fight that I anticipate QPR losing. Parker’s stock …

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So, how do we reflect on that performance? Manchester United’s goal was extremely lucky and they rarely looked like scoring after the thirty seventh second of the game. We, on the other hand, had five or six decent chances, far more than I was expecting. So can we look back on a heroic and unlucky performance, or was this really a missed opportunity, a failure to steal a point or three off a distinctly off colour Manchester United? To …

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Has ‘Arry gone mad? Word on the training ground is that he fancies Rob Green between the posts after his heroic 45 minutes in the Stadium of Twilight. Somebody should show him tapes of that 5-0 thumping at home to Swansea. Or ‘Arry might like to re-run the England game against the USA. Yes Rob will always…

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Well Allardyce very nearly came up with the perfect tactics! Give the Mancs the lead inside the first minute, thereby removing all the urgency and passion from their play, keep the game at 1-0 for as long as possible, then steal an equaliser in the final minutes. It so nearly worked! Of course Man Utd had more of the ball, but that stat apart, we were in this game from the thirty seventh second right through to the end. Nolan …

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After the shame of White Hart Lane, it’s time for West Ham fans to show their class. One thing is guaranteed: even though the game is in the North West and even though we are virtually guaranteed to be on the wrong end of a tonking, West Ham fans will show up in numbers, …

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Start a snowball rolling down hill… The announcement of the takeover seems to have perked up the Kingdom of Leeds and there may now be no stopping them – at Elland Road at least! Two teams in the top three defeated in a matter of days, and suddenly Leeds are surging up the table. Better still, most of their rivals for promotion are stuttering. Mind you, the locals don’t seem to be impressed. This was a memorial game for former great…

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I would imagine the players might be relieved if it happens, but Warnock is disputing a touchline ban even though he has accepted the rap for misconduct at Millwall. Old Big Gob has got a bloody cheek. The game was a tinderbox affair and after the events at Hillsborough, he should …

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So one of the morons who engaged in the disgusting chanting at White Hart Lane has collected a life ban, but that is not enough. The club should now publish his name so his company can take appropriate action and his neighbours can know him for the low life retard that he is. The club might also now consider requiring a photograph to purchase season tickets and members cards into the future…

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Wow, what a turnaround! England spinners out spin India and suddenly a team all at sea against the turning ball turns the tables on the masters of spin! How ironic. The Indians deliberately prepared a surface to ensure a 2-0 series lead, and promptly found that Swann and Panesar are better at exploiting spin and bounce than they are! Of course, Cook and KP apart, our batsmen did their best to lose the game in the first …

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At last, action. I’m delighted to see that the club are asking Tottenham to help identify fans guilty of racist chanting and are promising life bans for anybody found to be engaging in this sick and shameful activity. The only pity is that it has taken until now to act. This…

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Yesterday was sobering to say the least. Before the game I said that this is not a great Spurs team and that only Bale is brilliant – and I hold to that – but we made them look like world beaters for much of the game. To be fair, had we made it to half time …

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So once again a bunch of morons have shamed our football club with sick and abusive chanting. Allardyce, to his deep shame, has claimed not to have heard it and so refused to condemn it; but I haven’t heard it either – I am prepared to believe the reports however. Allardyce should have condemned the chanting and those responsible, and the club must act to identify the culprits. That’s surely easy enough. The tickets …

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Not much to say really. Carroll scored but was at fault for the third Tottenham goal. We were totally outclassed. End of.

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No complaints. Spurs were by far the better team first half. Bale’s pace and movement are terrifying and our midfield are chasing shadows. Noble’s lack of pace has been exposed a number of times and Defoe did him far too easily ahead of firing home a superb goal. From the moment he turned Reid we were in trouble, but again, credit…

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If Carroll were playing for Tottenham and had gone this long without a goal, we would all know what to expect come the fixture with West Ham. Remember Torres rediscovering his scoring boots in time for the match with us two seasons back – before throwing them away again? An Andy Carroll goal, …

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If you are winning 1-0 and think, “It’s time to give Anton a run out”, think again! Did the younger Ferdinand bring the curtain down on his QPR career today I wonder? Apart from losing the game, it’s been a reasonable day for ‘Arry. Sunderland and Reading both lost and Villa only picked up a home point, albeit against Arsenal. So QPR are still only two …

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Just as I predicted, Leeds overturned league leaders Crystal Palace this afternoon. The result was always on the cards after the surge in optimism following the takeover, and with two new players joining the squad and seeking to salvage their careers. With Middlesborough, Hull, Huddersfield and Blackburn all losing, this could prove to be a red letter day for Leeds come the end of the…

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Well ‘Arry’s off to a perfect start with Sunderland losing at home to West Brom. That keeps O’Neill’s wailing Black Cats within reach. Now, it’s just a little matter of QPR winning at Old Trafford. Well, according to ‘Arry, the Hula Hoops need a miracle to stay up! As for O’Neill, he seems to have lost the plot completely. Two goals down at half time and with …

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Old Big Gob couldn’t resist sticking the knife into Mark Hughes whilst blowing his own trumpet could he? With Sparky ushered out of the same managerial revolving door that he was pushed through by Fernandes, Warnock triumphantly declared, “There was also the comment at the end of last season when my successor said after coming 17th, the same position I left them in, ‘we won’t be in this position again’. Unfortunately he was proved right; QPR have not been that…

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After the disgraceful events in Rome this week, perhaps even die hard Di Canio fans can understand why I have always been opposed to him returning to Upton Park as our manager. Perhaps Di Canio would now like to have the names of the two stabbed Tottenham fans tattooed beneath the word Dux on his arm. After all, the Lazio Ultras would love to be reminded of their victims should Di Canio ever salute them with a straight…

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This has to be one of the bets of the season! The bookmakers have printed their coupons and the feel good factor of the take over has not been factored in – and nor have the return of McCormack and the two new loan signings. The Eagles are flying but are nothing special. If Leeds come out of the traps like their beloved whippets, they could find themselves a goal or two to the good before Ollie’s men know what has hit them. Statistically Palace are overdue a defeat and Leeds overdue a victory. Correct score? 2-0 to Warnock’s boys.

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  So, for the one millionth time, Mark Hughes was not going to be sacked as QPR’s manager – so said Tony Fernandes. And that was after the 1-3 reverse at home to fellow strugglers Southampton. Less than a week later, Hughes is out of a job and QPR fans must be wondering if Tony the Great knows his arse from his elbow. Who is running the show at Loftus Road? Fernandes clearly wanted to retain Hughes but it appears that he has cracked under pressure from the fans and other members of the Board. So now the Hula Hoops go into the game with Manchester United without a manager – and where’s the sense in that? Why not give …

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  It is our big boast. OK, a World Cup apart, we have never really won much – a few FA Cups, a Cup Winners Cup and an Inter Toto token – but we are the seedbed of English football talent. Made in West Ham is stamped on the arse of most talented English players and without Tony Carr and our famed Academy, the England national team would be…well rubbish! Just trot out the names of our home grown stars: Moore, Hurst, Peters, Brooking, Martin, …

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