Archive | The Game’s Gone Crazy

And I thought Sullivan & Gold were supposedly West Ham fans!

Sullivan and Gold are West Ham fans? Don’t make me laugh! All West Ham fans know from painful experience one, absolute, unalterable, never to be refuted or denied or challenged law: if it can go wrong, it bloody well will go wrong, and with fcuking great knobs on! So, we break our…

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Carroll injury exposes the grand folly of Sullivan, Gold and Princess Brady

So that’s it then, Carroll has sustained another injury and is beginning to bear all the hallmarks of another Dean Ashton or Keiron Dyer. But at least when those two inaction men booked in to their favourite treatment suite, the club had somebody to fill their shirts. Not so this time. Amazingly, or should I say typically, West Ham fans have been slow to condemn the brinkmanship …

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Leave it late and you get what you deserve – sweet FA!

So the truth is out! Far from sitting on their dildos, messers Sullivan, Gold and Brady were moving heaven and earth on the last day of the window trying to sign a striker. Ba, Lukaku and Bendtner were all on the shopping list, but sadly all three deals fell at the final hurdle. Two questions arise from this, of course. The first is, why did we…

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Saint Carlton agrees to play for nothing

So when is the guy going to be canonized? Such is Carlton’s love for the club that he is happy to play for nothing. How else can we explain the club’s attempt to re-sign him? According to the line spun by Big Brother Sullivan, and swallowed by the opened mouthed chicks in the Claret and Blue nest, we couldn’t sign another striker until somebody left because of a limit on…

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West Ham operating on wingers and a prayer!

What a joke, but, to quote The Smiths, that joke ain’t funny anymore, it’s too close to home and too near the bone! The window has closed and unless transfer papers have been couriered in secret, Sullivan, Gold & Allardyce haves decided that plan B really is one plan too many. We have Andy Carroll, …

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Allardyce calls for Tottenham Hotspur and Sunderland to be deducted points

Interesting. Backed into a bit of a corner in the post match Talk Bollocks interview, Allardyce repeated the myth that West Ham cannot buy without selling because of the new financial regulations for clubs in the Prem. A slightly intimidated interviewer had the audacity, like this blog, to raise the issue …

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West Ham 0 Stoke 1 – Who needs POSSIBLE points deductions when we deduct them ourselves?

Well that served the club right. All that bollocks about potential points deductions if we buy somebody to play up front, and in the meantime we surrender five points anyway with goal less displays against Newcastle and Stoke. We were dreadful today, and it all comes from having nobody to lead the line, with Maiga showing all the movement …

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Half Time: West Ham 0 Stoke 0 – Blowing our lines rather than bubbles

The last time we had a chance to go top of the Prem for 24 hours, Bolton came to the Boleyn and Green made two terrible errors as we folded 3-1. And based on that first half, the team are intent on blowing the opportunity again. The back 5 apart, we have been awful. Maiga has missed another nailed on opportunity, making a hash of a header from a rare Jarvis…

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Allardyce threatens Nolan and laments the loss of Diarra!

Ok, could you combine two more ridiculous statements in one headline without resorting to “Michael Gove saves British Education System as Nick Clegg’s Lib Dems rocket ahead in the polls?”, but it seems we have moved in to a truly parallel universe, where having played for Bolton doesn’t guarantee you a place in …

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Does Vaz Te have a point?

Of course, there’s more than a dollop of irony involved when an ex Bolton man complains of getting a raw deal under Allardyce at West Ham, but the Portuguese enigma may be the exception that proves the rule. Two things set him apart from the typical Bolton player of course: he is skilful and he is lazy. Now we all know that Allardyce demands 100% effort …

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Hardly a Gold Cup performance but Cheltenham win is better than an Aldershot defeat!

Well it is a relief that the game is out of the way to be honest. Vaz Te scored to make a case for being retained, and the Morrison hype machine received another boost with his strike. 2-1 against a team from the bottom division isn’t anything to get excited about, but it’s a bloody site better than losing…

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Cheltenham a litmus test for season ahead

Cheltenham should present few if any problems, even if Allardyce selects a second string eleven, but the way we perform could be a clue to how the season will unfold. Every West Ham fan has obsessed about the need for another striker, but the Capital One Fan Cup will give us the opportunity to assess the ability and desire of a…

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Parker starts Fulham career with defeat and booking

After narrowly escaping slipping down to the Championship following a bid from family friend ‘Arry Redknapp, Scotty Parker found himself on the wrong end of an Arsenal tonking in his debut game for Fulham. Not surprisingly, the Arsenal midfield over ran and outclassed Parker who, despite his energy and commitment, has …

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Sullivan spinning a yarn and taking West Ham fans for mugs

Well if we are to believe David Sullivan, West Ham can’t buy a new striker because of the new Premier League financial relegations. He cites some cobblers about the threat of possible points deductions and a £52m cap on the wage bill with an allowance to only increase wages by a total of…

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Tottenham Hotspur find the perfect Bale replacement – and no transfer fee was involved!

So, two Premiership games in to the post Bale era – with matches against the mighty Crystal Palace and Swansea no less – and Spurs have managed two goals…both penalties! All that money spent on midfielders and strikers, and no goal has been fashioned from open play in 180 minutes of football! How pathetic is that? But then, Spurs fans will be quick to point out that the two …

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Ravel the Brazilian!

You have to laugh. Morrison arrived in the Prem wearing gloves in August and with his name changed on his back, Brazilian style, to the much more catchy Ravel. Talk about Mr Precious and Mr Ego! But I’m not about to criticise the decision. How could I when I have supported the Hull City Tigers name change? Morrison is far too common a name. If it was Waitrose, fair…

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Newcastle 0 West Ham 0 – Defence make a point as chances are scorned

Well it’s not a game that will live long in the memory but that’s true of the two previous matches between the two sides, a 0-0 draw and Upton Park and our 1-0 win in Geordieland last season. But had Nolan or Maiga buried great headed chances, we would have won again. Defensively we were excellent, until the 92nd minute when an intended cross came back …

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Half Time Newcastle 0 West Ham 0 – So far so good!

Well it hasn’t been the most exciting game so far but Allardyce won’t be concerned about that. We have looked compact, Jussi hasn’t been troubled so far, and the three best chances have fallen to us. Reid could have two now, so nearly connecting first with a Maiga flick on, and then with a free kick from deep from Collins. Downing and Maiga combined really should have scored after …

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Thank God we side stepped Anelka!

Let’s face it, Anelka would have been a classic West Ham signing, being over the hill by a good two years by the time he would consider a move to us; and, of course, he is a former Bolton man. But this time, we resisted, no doubt because of absurdly inflated wage demands, and allowed Steve Clarke to sign the …

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Cheeky Crystal Palace Chump Chamakh in Lying Claim

So, after signing for the mighty Crystal Palace, prize chump Chamakh, who along with Pogatetz made a determined bid for a place in the Worst Ever West Ham Eleven side last season, has accused Allardyce of “lying” because he wasn’t given game time at Upton Park. What is that if not …

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Newcastle’s Remy, Taylor and Gutierrez all missing for West Ham game

Well that’s a turn up for the books! Usually players return fit and hungry for a game against West Ham (even Michael Owen!) so when you read that three of the opposition’s first choice players will not be taking the field, you have to smile and wonder if our fortunes are changing. It would be even better, of course…

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Well said David Gold for knocking Newcastle and Manchester City!

It may not be wise to wind them up, especially when we are playing Newcastle at the weekend, but Gold got it absolutely right when he called the two line ups for last night’s game as a “disgrace” because there were only three Englishmen amongst the 22 starters – and one of those was sent off! This is a World Cup year and it …

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Tottenham’s Parker sidesteps QPR to join Fulham

So Scotty’s agent has done it again, negotiating another 3 year contract which keeps the injury prone, ageing, running round in circles, midfield spinning dynamo in the Prem and so in with a shout of going to Brazil…well in Scotty’s mind at least. Redknapp must be fuming. ‘Arry went out on a limb when …

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Who will buy Matt Taylor?

Leeds United were linked with him, but cash strapped Leeds have to shrink their existing wage bill so won’t be able to afford Taylor anytime over the next decade. ‘Arry had him at Portsmouth when Pompey stormed the division, but QPR are being linked with Konchelsky and surely even Fernandes will put a cap …

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Will Di Canio and Sunderland have a parting of ways before Christmas?

One game in and the pressure is already on. The fixture list has not been kind to Sunderland and with the club notoriously bad travellers, there is a danger that Il Duce’s Black Shirts could be cut adrift come the end of October. Just how the Italian will cope with …

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Why were Diarra and Vaz Te brought on rather than Morrison?

Ok, I don’t want to gripe after an excellent opening day win – albeit we were playing Cardiff, not Man City – but the decision to overlook Morrison completely was somewhat irritating. The kid has had a truly brilliant pre season and it would have been exciting to see him given a run out, even if only used as a sub. Fair enough to bring on Downing, the fans were anxious to…

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English Premier League Table

# Team P
1 Manchester City 93
2 Liverpool 92
3 Chelsea 74
4 Tottenham Hotspur 71
5 Arsenal 69
6 Manchester United 58
7 West Ham United 56
8 Leicester City 52
9 Brighton & Hov… 51
10 Wolverhampton Wanderers 51
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15 Southampton 40
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18 Burnley 35
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