Up The Hammers – Latest West Ham United FC News

Dear God, that was truly dire and illustrated perfectly the folly of the “all the eggs in one basket” transfer strategy over the summer. No Carroll, no hope. And it’s not as if Carroll is a goal machine when fit! Sunderland could have won 5-0 today and should have won by two or three clear goals. Thank Christ their strikers are as inept as ours and that Poyet doesn’t know Fletcher’s scoring record at Upton …

Read the full story

What a truly dreadful 45 minutes. Sunderland should be at least two goals to the good, and even though Marriner seems to be in the pay of Poyet, that is disgraceful. Maiga, as usual, has been hopeless, failing with his two good chances to hit the target on either occasion, whilst Jarvis has been even worse. How many chances has he had to cross the ball, and how many times has he hit the ball yards wide of any West Ham player? But they are not alone in being…

Read the full story

This is disgraceful. This is a dire Palace team and they have been playing dire football for 45 minutes but we go in a goal behind for the same old reason, we can’t score. We were as much in control in that half as we were in the first 45 against Norwich, but there’s no point in dominating if you can’t put the bloody ball in the net. Now, if anyone can explain the logic …

Read the full story

Bless him. Scotty rocked up at the Boleyn and put in his typical performance: 100% commitment, running himself into the ground, diving in front of shots, covering as many blades of grass as his ageing legs and lungs would allow, even charging into the penalty area on one tunnel-visioned run – and, of course, getting caught in possession twenty five yards out from his own goal, thereby setting up West Ham’s opening goal! If any game summed up Scotty, this was it!…

Read the full story

Well, looking back after the event, it was all very comfortable wasn’t it? Based on that showing, Fulham are in deep, deep, deep trouble and we look too good to go down. But let’s take a deep breath and look at things honestly. The team that started the game had scored just two goals between them all season. Some leapt on my negative half time report, in which I made Fulham favourites to run out 1-0 winners, based on the fact that they had goal scorers in their team …

Read the full story

So Allardyce’s program notes list the strikers he tried to buy, but trying isn’t good enough. They wouldn’t join because they knew they wouldn’t get a game if Carroll was fit and available. Mind you, that was always going to be one hell of an IF! Today, Allardyce has returned to plan A. Maiga up front, Nolan behind, Jarvis and Downing out wide and Diame and Noble providing the midfield engine – and that might work if Jarvis could cross and Maiga could score. But Jarvis wastes opportunity after…

Read the full story

West Ham are going down. No they are not! Yes they are. No they not! Yes they are. No chance of staying up. Yes there is! No there’s not. Excuse me, is this the five minute argument or the full half hour? So, Monty Python are returning, but who needs a ticket for the 02 when you can watch a bunch of dead parrots, silly walks and the very wettest of wet spam menus at the Boleyn? False number nines, Allardyce …

Read the full story

As warm up games go, the 9-0 hammering by a West Ham Eleven in mid week wouldn’t normally be what the doctor orders ahead of a key relegation 6 pointer. But the hapless Gills were still able to dust themselves down, travel North and spank hapless, helpless, hopeless and piss pot less Shafting United at the weekend. And as a result, the Blunted Blades are right back where they belong – in the bottom 4 of the old Third Division – second from bottom to be precise, just 2 points ahead of Notts County…

Read the full story

So, who is he? Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple and Jack Frost are on the case as we speak, trying to track down the mystery man who replaced Carlton Cole on 60 minutes in the nine goal stroll, the mystery man who is repeatedly called “Trialist” on the Official Site! We shouldn’t get too excited, of course – even Carlton and Maiga scored, which tells you everything you need to know about Gillingham – but, let’s face …

Read the full story

The phrase has an uncomfortable resonance. Kanoute, Cole, Di Canio, Defoe, Johnson, Sinclair, Les Ferdinand – how could a team blessed with such talent possibly drop out of the top division? Well Allardyce knows, because Allardyce’s Bolton condemned us to relegation; and Sullivan and Gold know, because Sullivan and Gold’s Birmingham drove the final nail into our relegation coffin in the last game of that miserable, miserable season, a game we had to …

Read the full story

Well, for much of that first 45 minutes I thought I was watching a training game – or at most a pre season friendly. Our passing has been unnervingly precise, the movement has been wonderful, and with better luck and better finishing, we could be three goals ahead. Nolan has forced two saves from Ruddy, and really should have buried one of them, and Demel has hit the bar with a header from a corner. Meanwhile, Norwich have been chasing shadows and, when they have got the ball, have looked…

Read the full story

Norwich City’s luck has turned just days after the drubbing at the Etihad. Already without an attack because of the absence of Andy Carroll, West Ham must now take to the field at Carrow Road without the man who knits the entire defence together, Winston Reid. Suddenly, the game looks like a bloody minefield. We should be rubbing our hands together at the prospect of playing a team beneath us in the table., especially …

Read the full story

Life is full of regrets isn’t it? Judas, of course, hanged himself after betraying the Messiah, and, whilst sopping short of that, Jermaine Defoe is apparently keen to put his head in the Upton Park noose after expressing regret about his infamous transfer request and expressing his love for West Ham. And why exactly? Because in a World Cup year, he is desperate to find himself a berth at a club where …

Read the full story

Ok, it was only Rotherham, but nevertheless, young Lee netted a crucial equalising goal in the last minute of the Divison 1 clash. And even more pertinent, given we are talking Allardyce, he scored with his head! So Sam, 38 crosses failed to find a West Ham nut against Villa, whilst Elliot Lee got his nodder on the end of one delivered by a Colchester team mate. Worth a chance perhaps? The kids did well at Burnley! Meanwhile Shafting United’s revival proved deliciously short lived. A 2-0 defeat at lowly Shrewsbury put them…

Read the full story

Apparently Allardyce thinks we were unlucky not to beat Villa. Well on that basis, he was watching a different game from me! How many genuine saves did Guzan have to make? Two, if we count the Jarvis scuff and Joe Cole’s effort from a near impossible angle. And Villa? Well Jussi made two brilliant saves (from Wiemann in the first half and Benteke in the second) and the Villain’s Belgian also hit the …

Read the full story

So, the inclusion of Collison has meant that we have reverted to a half way house between 4-5-1 and 4-6-0, with Nolan moved forward to play the lone striker come advanced play maker role. The possession stats are superb – something like 60-40 in our favour – and all allegations of long ball football must be consigned to the rubbish bin, but sadly for all our possession, we look absolutely toothless up front, …

Read the full story

Interesting. Allardyce has apparently stuck with 4-6-0 but has dropped Diame and replaced him with Jack Collison, who will presumably exchange with Morrison as the “False Number 9”. This is an interesting one. We looked so much better against Burnley when Collison replaced Diame, and he is much more naturally suited to breaking in…

Read the full story

Well I know we have been taken for mugs more than a few times in the past when selling players, but not even West Ham would consider letting Reid leave for anything less than £15m. And given Arsenal now have money to burn, if they really want Reid the bidding should begin around the £25m…

Read the full story

Well that was convenient wasn’t it? Unless you support Leicester, West Ham, Stoke, Sunderland or  Southampton of course! You sponsor a mean nothing cup so what’s the best way to generate interest? Set up two 2-leg semi-finals between the three biggest teams in England and one of Spurs or West Ham – and as Spurs are the marginally bigger club …

Read the full story

So Burnley are running away with the Championship. Interesting. And according to Leeds and QPR fans who respond to this blog, West Ham are heading for the drop. Interesting again. Well, on the basis of last night’s game, there’s not much point in any side winning promotion from this season’s Championship then because the gulf …

Read the full story

Well, not for the first time this season, it is so far so good after 45 minutes. We have been the better team and have created the better chances, and with a goal scorer in the team would be ahead by now. Amazingly, we have been the better passing team and Swansea and it is Laudrup’s team that …

Read the full story

Let’s face it, whatever team Allardyce selects, we will be using a false number nine at Swansea. Analysts went way over the top after our win at Spurs, hailing the self proclaimed tactical guru for his genius in unveiling his new “False Number 9” formation, failing to understand that Alliadichi  had been employing the same tactic since the start of the season. Be honest, you couldn’t find a more …

Read the full story

So another Academy product is out on loan and, based on recent history, that may be very bad news indeed. Yes Noble and Tomkins both had their loan stints – as did Rio and Judas Defoe of course – but more recently, when a kid is sent to the lower divisions, it generally means that he…

Read the full story

Ok we lost and, if we are honest, we lost pretty heavily, but Man City were pretty bloody good and, our centre backs apart, we were decent. And to be fair to Tomkins and Reid, they were horribly exposed by Man City’s quick passing football and excellent movement. Last game, Big Sam thought he was the dog’s …

Read the full story

No surprise that Allardyce has stuck with the eleven that beat Spurs, but the absence of Collins and Maiga from the bench is perhaps a little strange. So, Carlton Cole has already proved himself better than Maiga! It makes you wonder why he was released and rumoured suitors for Mogodon were rebuffed. Now we will struggle…

Read the full story

Sacking David Weir didn’t do much good then did it? But then, nothing will save Shafting United until the curse of Tevez is removed; and that will only happen when McScab and his Dusty Bin Arab co-owner repay the £25m blood money extorted from West Ham. Tevez was at it again today, disguised this time as journeyman Coventry striker Leon Clarke…

Read the full story