Up The Hammers – Latest West Ham United FC News

Dear God, that was truly dire and illustrated perfectly the folly of the “all the eggs in one basket” transfer strategy over the summer. No Carroll, no hope. And it’s not as if Carroll is a goal machine when fit! Sunderland could have won 5-0 today and should have won by two or three clear goals. Thank Christ their strikers are as inept as ours and that Poyet doesn’t know Fletcher’s scoring record at Upton …

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What a truly dreadful 45 minutes. Sunderland should be at least two goals to the good, and even though Marriner seems to be in the pay of Poyet, that is disgraceful. Maiga, as usual, has been hopeless, failing with his two good chances to hit the target on either occasion, whilst Jarvis has been even worse. How many chances has he had to cross the ball, and how many times has he hit the ball yards wide of any West Ham player? But they are not alone in being…

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Book a Christmas celebration with hospitality at Saturday’s game against Sunderland

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Today’s Advent Calendar video tells the story of Kenny Martin who became ‘Coach for the Day’

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This is disgraceful. This is a dire Palace team and they have been playing dire football for 45 minutes but we go in a goal behind for the same old reason, we can’t score. We were as much in control in that half as we were in the first 45 against Norwich, but there’s no point in dominating if you can’t put the bloody ball in the net. Now, if anyone can explain the logic …

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Bless him. Scotty rocked up at the Boleyn and put in his typical performance: 100% commitment, running himself into the ground, diving in front of shots, covering as many blades of grass as his ageing legs and lungs would allow, even charging into the penalty area on one tunnel-visioned run – and, of course, getting caught in possession twenty five yards out from his own goal, thereby setting up West Ham’s opening goal! If any game summed up Scotty, this was it!…

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So Allardyce’s program notes list the strikers he tried to buy, but trying isn’t good enough. They wouldn’t join because they knew they wouldn’t get a game if Carroll was fit and available. Mind you, that was always going to be one hell of an IF! Today, Allardyce has returned to plan A. Maiga up front, Nolan behind, Jarvis and Downing out wide and Diame and Noble providing the midfield engine – and that might work if Jarvis could cross and Maiga could score. But Jarvis wastes opportunity after…

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Elliot Lee, father Rob and brother Olly are all growing facial hair for a good cause this month

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West Ham are going down. No they are not! Yes they are. No they not! Yes they are. No chance of staying up. Yes there is! No there’s not. Excuse me, is this the five minute argument or the full half hour? So, Monty Python are returning, but who needs a ticket for the 02 when you can watch a bunch of dead parrots, silly walks and the very wettest of wet spam menus at the Boleyn? False number nines, Allardyce …

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Fans from across the world are invited to share their stories for a new online feature

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As warm up games go, the 9-0 hammering by a West Ham Eleven in mid week wouldn’t normally be what the doctor orders ahead of a key relegation 6 pointer. But the hapless Gills were still able to dust themselves down, travel North and spank hapless, helpless, hopeless and piss pot less Shafting United at the weekend. And as a result, the Blunted Blades are right back where they belong – in the bottom 4 of the old Third Division – second from bottom to be precise, just 2 points ahead of Notts County…

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The phrase has an uncomfortable resonance. Kanoute, Cole, Di Canio, Defoe, Johnson, Sinclair, Les Ferdinand – how could a team blessed with such talent possibly drop out of the top division? Well Allardyce knows, because Allardyce’s Bolton condemned us to relegation; and Sullivan and Gold know, because Sullivan and Gold’s Birmingham drove the final nail into our relegation coffin in the last game of that miserable, miserable season, a game we had to …

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Well, for much of that first 45 minutes I thought I was watching a training game – or at most a pre season friendly. Our passing has been unnervingly precise, the movement has been wonderful, and with better luck and better finishing, we could be three goals ahead. Nolan has forced two saves from Ruddy, and really should have buried one of them, and Demel has hit the bar with a header from a corner. Meanwhile, Norwich have been chasing shadows and, when they have got the ball, have looked…

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Norwich City’s luck has turned just days after the drubbing at the Etihad. Already without an attack because of the absence of Andy Carroll, West Ham must now take to the field at Carrow Road without the man who knits the entire defence together, Winston Reid. Suddenly, the game looks like a bloody minefield. We should be rubbing our hands together at the prospect of playing a team beneath us in the table., especially …

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Life is full of regrets isn’t it? Judas, of course, hanged himself after betraying the Messiah, and, whilst sopping short of that, Jermaine Defoe is apparently keen to put his head in the Upton Park noose after expressing regret about his infamous transfer request and expressing his love for West Ham. And why exactly? Because in a World Cup year, he is desperate to find himself a berth at a club where …

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Ok, it was only Rotherham, but nevertheless, young Lee netted a crucial equalising goal in the last minute of the Divison 1 clash. And even more pertinent, given we are talking Allardyce, he scored with his head! So Sam, 38 crosses failed to find a West Ham nut against Villa, whilst Elliot Lee got his nodder on the end of one delivered by a Colchester team mate. Worth a chance perhaps? The kids did well at Burnley! Meanwhile Shafting United’s revival proved deliciously short lived. A 2-0 defeat at lowly Shrewsbury put them…

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Apparently Allardyce thinks we were unlucky not to beat Villa. Well on that basis, he was watching a different game from me! How many genuine saves did Guzan have to make? Two, if we count the Jarvis scuff and Joe Cole’s effort from a near impossible angle. And Villa? Well Jussi made two brilliant saves (from Wiemann in the first half and Benteke in the second) and the Villain’s Belgian also hit the …

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